Questions

A while back I came across this Pearls Before Swine cartoon.

And while Rat's question is perhaps a bit extreme, it reminded me of this discussion I once heard from a neighbor on a date, chatting after the date right outside my open window.

She told her date that she didn't want to go to heaven. She wanted to go to hell, because that's where all the fun people would be.

The problem though, is that Rat probably couldn't ask his question at church. Nor could my former neighbor share about her thoughts on hell. It's not typically an open-forum place where people can ask their questions, express their doubts, and find answers. Even in a small group setting, where people can actually be engaged in the conversation, there seems to be a limit on how far outside of the "normal Christian doubts" you can go.

On Desperate Housewives, Lynette once went to Brie's church and challenged the status quo. She raised her hand to ask a question about the sermon.

And although the pastor did respond to her questions and invite further dialogue, Brie was openly embarrassed and later criticized her friend, noting that church was not a place you go to ask questions. All too often, that's the way we react to genuine conversation in church.

I wonder if we'd have a better reputation and more visitors if we were willing to have a culture that engaged people and let them express their thoughts and doubts.

Why?

My niece Hannah, at age 21 months, is in the "why" phase. When my family was all together, we tried different tactics to avert her "why" questions. Sometimes we simply answered them. Sometimes we  used words we knew she wouldn't understand to offer her answers, hoping to frustrate her from continuing to ask. Sometimes we gave the same answer over and over until she gave up. Sometimes we just didn't answer. My personal favorite was when I preempted a why that I knew was coming by asking her first, and then she didn't know what to say. (I also liked to randomly ask her why even if it wasn't preemptive.)

Often she'd start a conversation with "what's that?" and point to something random. Usually something she clearly could identify on her own, like a bagel or a toy. Then, when you told her what it was, she'd ask "why?" This was a particularly difficult "why" to answer. Why is it a bagel? Um...cuz they put the ingredients in that make it a bagel?

She asked other questions, too, like "What's the buzzy fly doing?" (To which my mom responded "buzzing" and then I said, "and flying. The description really said it all...") But mostly she stuck with her favorite. I always thought toddlers asked why because of a genuine curiosity about the world. Which maybe they do sometimes. But I came to realize she just thought it was fun to say. Maybe because it's one of the few ways she knows how to strike up a conversation. (On one occasion, she went up to a couple family members and with no context at all asked her standard question. I don't think she got a response that time...but it does help make my case.)

But despite my realization that she wasn't always genuinely curious about knowing why, the chorus of "why's" throughout the week got me thinking about how little I ask that question. Too often I just accept that things are the way they are without considering: why do I do it this way? Why does my company do it this way? Is there a better way? Why do I believe this? Is it really biblical, or just cultural?

I think we all could use a little more "why" in our lives. Except Hannah, she's got plenty as it is!