Blessings

There's a song on my soundtrack that I've seen several times in people's Facebook statuses lately. It's "Blessings" by Laura Story.

The first time I heard this song was right after workcamp, when we were driving to Dan's family. I was still coming out of a depression that had arisen out of a culmination of struggles this year, the big straw being the loss of Buttercup.

And this song just got to me. The chorus goes: "What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near? And what if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?"

Other lines I love: "The pain reminds us that this is not, this is not our home."
"What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?"

It's such a great perspective. And so hard to have when you're in the midst of those raindrops and tears. I don't know how well I can hold onto the perspective of the chorus when I'm at my lowest...but I do think I can cling to the fact that it's a reminder that this is not my home. It's a reminder of the greater thirst this world can't satistfy.

We will never be satisfied with what this world has to offer. Never. Because it's not what we were made to long for.

If Only

"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs,

"The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies."

The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely,

And cries to the moon, "if only, if only."

I learned this song from Louis Sachar's Holes, an absolutely beautiful story (and it's in movie form if you're not much for reading). I was reminded of it tonight when a friend on Facebook posted that she finds herself drifting to the land of "if only." Ah yes, such a familiar land. I've been there many times.

But this little song is a great reminder that our "if onlies" may be to our detriment. I'm reminded of when Jesus said that if a son asked for a fish, his father wouldn't give him a snake. But I think there's a corollary there, too. If the son asked for a snake, his father wouldn't give it to him either. (We're assuming this is in Jesus' culture before people could keep snakes in aquariums as pets.) Sometimes we ask for things that are just plain bad for us. And it's God's great mercy that keeps him from answering every prayer with a yes. (And...cue Garth Brooks...)

Just this morning, I was in the land of "if only." I was thinking about these cute blouses I'd seen in a store window recently, and thinking, "If only I had money to buy those blouses." Now, would something terrible happen to me if I did have money and bought the blouses? It's hard to fathom physical harm coming to me. But it could feed into my narcissism and materialism. Or it could have some other totally unforeseen consequence that only God knows.

We must put aside our "if onlies" and focus on the blessings we've been given. Those are the things we can count on as God's perfect gifts for us.