The Flip Side

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

I grew up pretty sheltered from divorce. Sure, I had friends here and there with divorced parents, but within my own immediate and extended family, divorce was pretty rare. And even among my friends, I never had a friend whose parents got divorced during our friendship.

And because of this, I didn't really understand it. I figured anyone who got a divorce was probably sinning. I approached divorcees with judgment.

And so, faced with the decision of divorce in my own marriage, I wavered for a while. When we finally decided it was over, it had been a couple years of the idea coming up. One of the big things holding me back was my fear that others would judge me the same way I'd judged others. I couldn't stand to think that I'd fit into this "divorced" category. I didn't want that label, because I feared how others would view me.

Ultimately I decided it was between me and God, and if other people wanted to judge me, that was their problem. If I was clear with God, that was all that mattered. And that's what pushed me to make that decision.

Now I have a whole new view of divorce. Having been through it myself, I know that there's always more to it than people may be willing to share. And that's OK...there's no obligation to share it or prove to anyone that they're OK before God.

So lately I've found myself in a role I never quite envisioned: people going through divorce have been coming to me when they need someone to talk to. People I would've judged 5 or 6 years ago, I now have a heart to help. And I'm psyched about it. Of course I'm not psyched that others are going through a difficult phase of life, but I'm psyched that God is using my troubles to help me bring his comfort to others. I said from the beginning of this path that I wanted it to be something that would bring glory to God.

I'm working on starting a divorce support group at my church. I feel like I want to embrace this role and help others who are struggling through some of the same things I did. The logistics, the emotions, the fear of being labelled, the need for someone to talk to. I'm so thankful that God can use my brokenness to minister to others. It's an affirmation that he can take anything and turn it into good.

Suffering

In Matthew 16 Jesus starts to be really frank with his disciples about what he's going to experience. That he's going to suffer many things and be killed.

Peter won't stand for this kind of talk. Jesus is a leader, a hero. No way will could God's servant go through such things, Peter thinks.

Jesus' rebuke is pretty harsh: "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." (Side note: I often feel like Peter...opening my mouth to say something well-intentioned, then inserting my foot seconds later.)

The fact is, Jesus had the mind of God, because he was fully God. He knew that sometimes, suffering happens even to the good guys. Even to the perfect Guy. He knew that suffering wasn't even just an unfortunate occurrence that might come along as you seek to fulfill God's calling for your life—sometimes suffering was the calling. For Jesus, this was obviously the case. And for someone to say otherwise was an attempt to distract Jesus from his calling.

I hate suffering. Even Jesus hated suffering, so I don't feel too wussy about that. But I, like so many, have the temptation to think in the back of my mind that if I'm doing what God has called me to do, God will make it easy, and I will live happily ever after. Doesn't God bless those who do his will?

Yes, ultimately God blesses us with rewards in heaven. But to think we can sidestep suffering as we serve God here on earth is keeping in mind the concerns of men, rather than the concerns of God. So if part of God's calling means suffering, I need to cast aside the Peter-voice in my head telling me that surely such things shouldn't be happening to me.