2014 and 2015

2014 is over, and I have to say that my method of making 12 resolutions, 1 per month, did not pan out well. I thought it would be a good way to break things down into smaller goals and give myself a more frequent checkpoint to refocus on my goals...but it just didn't work out that way.

2014 was a pretty good year for me. The biggest thing was that I'm getting my first book published! It's been a dream of mine since I was maybe five or six years old to publish a book, and this April I had a proposal accepted, and the book shipped to the printer a couple weeks ago! Wildly Creative Puzzles With a Point releases on February 10 this year, and I hope it will be an awesome resource to help kids who love puzzles discover more about their faith.

I've always loved puzzles, but I've seen them used in such wasteful ways in the church (and schools). They're not meaningful; they're time fillers. But I didn't believe they had to be. Wildly Creative Puzzles With a Point re-imagines how puzzles can be used in church to help kids discover the Bible...not simply regurgitate facts.

Anyway...that's my plug and my biggest accomplishment for 2014. Otherwise it hasn't been a very eventful year...but that's a good thing. I'd hoped to be ringing in the new year with a new house, but that fell through, so I'll continue the hunt.

For 2015, I did make some resolutions/goals. One is I want to work on writing a novel by writing for just 10 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week.

I also have been working for the past probably 8 or so years writing a devotional inspired by my dogs, with a goal of writing 101 devotions. I hit that number at the end of last year, so I'd like to go through the whole thing and check for repeats, write any more I need in order to replace repeats, polish it up, and submit it to some possible publishers.

I'd also like to open an Etsy shop to sell my crafts.

So really, two of the three aren't habits to form/break, they're just things I want to accomplish at some point in the year. Because really, when I started thinking about resolutions, I started thinking that maybe I'd rather focus on who I want to be than what I want to do in 2015.

And I think the main thing is, I want to be useful. Recently I've been feeling so small, like I see so much wrong with the world and I'm not doing much about it. And I know I can't fix everything. But like the proverbial starfish, I want to make a difference to one person at a time. And as I think about what I can do, my passion for writing comes to mind. And I think if I can let God use me to write and help people, that's what I want to do.

So that's what informed my "resolutions." I want to be useful. I want to give more than I take. I want to seek to understand and empathize rather than to judge. I want to be a grace-filled person. At the end of the year, will I be able to measure how I did? No. But measurement is what doing is about—not what being is about. So, measurable or not, that's who I want to learn to be in 2015.

New Year's Resolutions

I always think about whether or not I want to do New Year's Resolutions each time the calendar creeps toward December 31. Some years I have made very concrete resolutions. Other years I've made more general ones like learning to accept myself and be me. I know of other people who've picked a word that they want to focus on in the next year, like "grace." I've also heard the idea of making an anti-resolution - stopping something you've been doing that's unnecessary. For example, "I resolve not to finish a book I'm not enjoying."

This year, I've decided to do things a little differently. I'm going to make 12 resolutions of daily habits - and focus on one per month. For example, floss, do yoga, write for 10 minutes, and so on. For the most part (other than the exercise ones), I'm trying to keep it to things that can be done in under 10 minutes. After all, most resolutions can make it for ONE month.

It takes 23 days to build a habit, so if it's something I want to continue to do daily that's an option. (The things I'd like to do that with are starred.) But I don't want to feel obligated to do that - after all, the compounded time of 12 things that take 10 minutes each is 2 hours a day! My main reasoning is, there are a lot of resolutions I could set, but if I try to tackle them all at once I'm setting myself up to fail.

Here's my list:

Jan - read devotional*

Feb - yoga* (*habit to form is some kind of exercise)

March - play keyboard

April - eat a fruit

May - run

June - play with dogs 10 minutes*

July - do a Spanish lesson 

August - floss*

September - blog*

October - play guitar 

November - write in my novel for 10 minutes

December - write appreciation letter

Planning a New Year

I entered 2012 full of hope and plans for what the year would hold for me. Dan had just moved out and I was optimistic about what my future would hold. And I had very specific plans in mind for my year.

Well, 2012 certainly did not disappoint in terms of my hopefulness and optimism, at least on a personal level. While the year was terrible for many friends who lost loved ones, and for my state as we faced numerous wildfires and the Aurora movie theater shooting, for me it was probably the best year of my life to date.

But the specific plans I had didn't come to pass the way I'd anticipated. I was so confident that these things would be a part of my 2012, when in fact God was ready to bless me in so many other ways.

2012 was a year of abundance. Tremendous healing and growth. Unparalleled closeness to God. A promotion. A facelift for my home. God's calling to new ministry areas. Looking back on the year, there's nothing in my life I'd change.

I enter 2013 a totally different person than I was a year ago. I'm so much more aware of who I am. I'm so much more aware of how to capitalize on my strengths and cope with my weaknesses. I've found the healing I was so hopeful 2012 would bring, and now I look forward with eager expectation to see what God will do with my repaired heart.

But unlike last year, I don't go in with specific plans. This year, my resolution is to simply wait and see what God is going to do—to take it as it comes whether or not I like it at the time. My resolution is to stop banking on my plans for my life—to not even make those plans. I trust his plans, and I know that all my planning doesn't amount to much anyway.

Over the summer God gave me these words: "Trust me" and "just wait." I want these words to be the theme of 2013. I want to trust God, rather than my own plans, and just wait to see what awesome things he'll do through me and with me.

There's Always Tomorrow

I've noticed throughout the course of my life that there always seems to be a better time later to set self-improvement goals. New Year's of course, is a big one. So I think of a habit I want to form or break around this time of year, and I think, "I'll do that in 2012. That's a good time to change."

But there've been other times, too. When I graduate high school. When I get to college. When I get through mid-terms. When the semester ends. When I graduate college. When I get through this big project. When I move. And on and on it goes.

It struck me the other day that there's always an excuse to put off becoming who God wants you to be and becoming a more whole person. Until the day comes when there is no tomorrow, and you realize with each extension you made to your goals of self-improvement, you've never changed.

I'm not saying there's no grace for busy times. But if you, like me, find yourself putting off desires to improves yourself for another day, join me in saying: Today is the day I will become who God wants me to be.

* On an ironic note, I decided to write this blog on Tuesday. Hey, it's a work in progress...