Fear

In Exodus 32, the Israelites make a golden calf for an idol, even though God had just rescued them from Egypt and parted the Red Sea so they could escape the ensuing army.

And God gets mad.

He tells Moses the people are stiff-necked and he is going to destroy them. Moses pleads for God to spare them, and he does.

This anger makes total sense to me. They're worshipping an idol, unashamedly engaging in pagan practices even as God meets with their leader to create a covenant. Of course God would be angry. They've betrayed him.

Then I read Numbers 14. An almost identical scene—God gets mad and tells Moses he's going to destroy the Israelites. Moses pleads, and God relents.

Why did God get mad this time? Not because of an idol. Because of fear. The Israelites had sent a few spies into the Promised Land and gotten mixed reviews, so they decide it would be better to go back to Egypt. They decide to appoint a new leader, maybe even kill Moses, and head back.

It struck me as I read this that God got just as mad about the Israelites letting fear hold them back as he did about them worshipping an idol. In fact, fear is a form of idolatry. It's a way of saying, "Sure, God is powerful but this thing that I'm afraid of is more powerful."

The fact is, what God had for the Israelites was so much better than the alternative they wanted to go back to! They had so much more to fear heading back to Egypt than heading into the Promised Land. But Egypt was known—they could rely on themselves. Heading into the Promised Land was unknown, and they had to trust God to get them through it.

I've never worshipped a golden calf. But I have let fear keep me from doing what I know God has for me. I have chosen the path that seems easier, just because I know it and can trust in myself. And that hurts God just as much as worshipping a golden calf.

Entitled

I heard recently about some poor people coming to pick up their food baskets, and saying things like, "Oh no way, I'm not taking the one with that small turkey. I want the one with the big turkey!"

That made me really sad. It got me to thinking about how even America's "poor" are so rich compared to so many people in the rest of the world. Countries where there's no such thing as food pantries, soup kitchens, and holiday baskets. Countries where starving truly means there is no possible way to get any food.

I'm not saying that all poor people (or even all Americans) have an attitude like the people at this particular charitable event. But I do think it's an example of how entitled our country has become overall. And entitlement is the enemy of gratitude. Why be grateful for something you believe you deserve?

I read a story in Numbers 11 last week that I didn't remember reading before. In it, the Israelites complain and complain that all they get is manna, and that in Egypt they had meat, cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic. Now all they have is manna and they want meat! Their attitude is full of entitlement and just general complaining. (Never mind the fact that they have food miraculously fall from heaven; that they don't have to do any work to obtain it.)

And here's what God says, "Now you'll have meat, and you will have to eat it. And it won't be for just a day or two, or five or ten or even twenty. You will eat it for a whole month until you gag and are sick of it."

This, if you'll indulge my thought trail just a bit further, reminded me of the scene in Matilda where the kid sneaks a piece of chocolate cake, and the principal makes him eat the entire, giant chocolate cake in front of the whole school. Now in this particular movie, the principal is just really horrendously mean and we all root for the boy. But in the case of the Israelites, God was punishing their entitled, ungrateful attitude with such an overabundance they'd wish they'd never asked. They got their just desserts. (Ha ha, get it?)

Now, to bring this full circle...I was convicted by all these thoughts. I don't often say thank you to God. Sometimes I focus on the negative and don't pay much attention to the blessings. Like the poor people who wanted the bigger turkey, I'm always looking at how to get more - or at least the same amount - of the good things others around me receive.

Ultimately we're all beggars standing in line at the merciful throne of God, in need of his blessings and grace. How much more must he delight in a gracious attitude than an entitled one?

To conclude - a great and amusing reminder of all we've been blessed with:

238

This is my 238th blog post on Blogger. I've posted thousands of blogs over the past 6 years, but the other places I've blogged didn't give me a handy dandy counter so I knew when 238 would come along.

So, why is 238 an important milestone? It's a fun family thing, that comes from a friend of the family. You see, in Rhode Island (where I grew up), the government officials get low-numbered license plates. But then there's a whole series of license plates that are low, but higher than the number of government officials we have. These are coveted plates. Apparently it's desirable to have a plate that might be confused with that of a government official?

So our family friend ended up with the number 238. And he was very proud of it. And then he started noticing the number 238 all over the place. Like a bill would come to $2.38. Or he'd look at the clock right at 2:38. Well, once our family learned this, we started looking for 238. And what do you know, we saw it all over the place too. For as long as I can remember, I've gotten a little thrill upon seeing the number 238.

Sometimes we'll even notice combinations of those digits, like 328 or 832. We point those out, too. We've even gone so far as to say things like, "Well, it's 11:38, but 1 + 1 is 2, so it's like 238." (Yes, we are all nerds. In case you thought it was just me.)

One time when I was maybe 11 or 12, my sister pointed out that we probably only see 238 so much because we're looking for it. We decided to test this theory with another random number, 154. And although we didn't see it as often as 238, it did start popping up a lot.

The point is this: you see what you are trying to notice. Whether it's a silly combination of numbers, or things to complain about, or blessings to express thanks for - if you're looking for it, you'll find it. What are you trying to notice?