Baby Jesus

As much as I love Christmas - and I think I've made it quite clear that I do - I struggle with one thing. Actually, kind of the main thing.

See, when I think of Jesus coming to earth, usually I think about his mission and purpose in doing so, and not about him actually being a baby. I mean, it fits with celebrating birthdays, right? We don't typically think of the birthday person as a baby, but we celebrate their life.

But when I do think about Jesus as a baby, I don't like it at all.

First of all, because I don't like babies. Never have. When one comes by, I don't want to hold it. I love having a cold if a baby comes around because it gives me a great excuse to stay far away. So to think of my Jesus, the one I love so much, as a baby...it bothers me.

But that isn't even the most bothersome part. Because I mean, everyone was a baby. If I ever fall in love again, it will be with a man who was once a baby. I was once a baby. And I even wanted to hold my niece and nephew when they were babies. The point is he's not a baby anymore.

But what really bothers me about it is the grossness and the weakness. I mean first of all, birth is a gross process. Not that I've ever witnessed one (thank goodness), but I'm well aware of all the blood and goo. Extra blood, presumably, when a virgin gave birth. And nothing but hay to clean all this up with? Gross gross gross. (And the Pope is now saying there were no animals there. Are you kidding? I bet animals loved all that blood and embryonic fluid.)

And then there's the weakness. I mean this is Jesus. It makes sense for a normal human to start off as a weak and helpless baby. But this is the Lord of the universe. The Lord of the universe, making a mess in a diaper. (And we're back to gross.) The Lord of the universe, unable to feed himself. The Lord of the universe, susceptible to death from being dropped or shaken. The Lord of the universe, screaming that shrill baby cry that makes me want to cut my ears off. (Undoubtedly that night - and the ones that followed - were far from silent.)

I suppose it shouldn't bother me. I should be grateful that the Lord of the universe would assume this weak form for me. Maybe if I liked babies I would be. But it's hard for me to reconcile Lord and Savior with baby.