Stake

I heard a really interesting metaphor in church today. The preacher said that when a captive elephant is a baby, people will tie it to a rope that's attached to a stake in the ground. The baby elephant isn't strong enough to pull the stake from its place, so it can't go anywhere.

But as the elephant grows bigger and stronger, a size where it would be perfectly capable of pulling out the stake, it no longer tries. The elephant remembers that it's incapable of pulling out the stake. Failure is inevitable, so why try?

That metaphor really struck me. I so often limit myself because of past failures. I failed at it before, why bother trying now? But perhaps, like the elephant, I've grown stronger (at least on the inside), and I could succeed now, if I'd give it a try.

Giving

Every year Group hosts a luncheon in which we award grants to Colorado non-profits. Last year I got to go to the lunch, but this year I helped on the committee. Which meant I got to read some of the applications.

It was so hard to choose. I wanted to pick all 16 in my category, but I could only pick 2. And that was one of 12 categories - all total we had 160 applications!

It's awesome to be a part of Group's charitable giving committee. It's awesome to know that I work for a company that generously gives to those doing good work in the community.

But even moreso, it's awesome to know that there are so many people doing good things in the community. 160 applications! We had people with halfway houses for at-risk women, or for those battling drug addictions. There were churches reaching out to their community in such amazing ways. Organizations fighting disease, or providing food for kids in need.

And the big winner of our $25,000 award was a suicide prevention organization for our county. It was shocking to hear that in Larimer County, someone commits suicide every 9 days. I was touched by the looks on the recipients faces. It's so different than someone winning a Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. There's excitement at this luncheon that's purely unselfish. You can see recipients' minds pondering all the good they can do with this money.

It's awesome to know that in spite of all the poverty, all the evil, all the disease, all the selfishness...there are hundreds and thousands of people in our community fighting it and doing good.

Retro

Sony first started making Walkman cassette players in 1979. Today I learned that they are going to discontinue them, but only in Japan. (This news arrived at the same time as the news that they were still making them.)

I can't believe it took this long for Sony to realize that Walkmans were out-dated. And they still haven't taken them completely off the market. I can't imagine even baby brother Discman is bringing in the big bucks nowadays. But I suppose a select few might still be in the market for a Discman. But Walkmans? Really, Sony?

I think one of my biggest fears is that I'll lose touch. I'm not ashamed of my VCR (which I use often to record programs), but only because I know it's out-dated. I know that TiVo and DVR are much better technologies. I simply don't want to spend the money on them.

But my fear is that I'll become out-dated and not even know it. I'm an editor of children's curriculum, and I need to be in touch with kids' worlds, interests, and realities. What's the latest trend? What are kids watching? What music do they like? And if I lose touch with that and don't even know it, I'll end up just like Sony, trying to sell a tape player 15 years after people stop using tapes.

Sony first started making Walkmans cassette players in 1979. Today I learned that they are going to discontinue them. (This news arrived at the same time as the news that they were still making them.)

I can't believe it took this long for Sony to realize that Walkmans were out-dated. I can't imagine even baby brother Discman is bringing in the big bucks nowadays. But I suppose a select few might still be in the market for a Discman. But Walkmans? Really, Sony?

I think one of my biggest fears is that I'll lose touch. I'm not ashamed of my VCR (which I use often to record programs), but only because I know it's out-dated. I know that TiVo and DVR are much better technologies. I simply don't want to spend the money on them.

But my fear is that I'll become out-dated and not even know it. I'm an editor of children's curriculum, and I need to be in touch with kids' worlds, interests, and realities. What's the latest trend? What are kids watching? What music do they like? And if I lose touch with that and don't even know it, I'll end up just like Sony, trying to sell a tape player up to 15 years after people stop using tapes.

Knowledge

A few weeks ago results came out about a religion quiz (http://features.pewforum.org/quiz/us-religious-knowledge). 10 knowledge-based questions about a variety of religions were asked, and the groups that scored the best were atheists and agnostics.

Those results made me pause. We emphasize the importance of a meaningful, deep relationship with Jesus, and I definitely think that's the most important thing. But I wonder if in doing that, we disregard biblical knowledge and knowledge about other religions.

Bottom line: what we know about our faith shows others that we've made an educated choice to follow Jesus. We're not just leaning on a crush; we know the options and we've decided Christian faith is the way. And what these results indicate to the world is that the people who really have looked into the options have decided no faith is the way.

Relationship with Jesus is key. But if we want to show the world that relationship is the one true way, we've got to know our stuff.

Smear

I can't WAIT for election day to be over so we can be done with all these annoying campaign ads for the year. They're annoying in general, but what I find particularly irksome is the large quantity of them that are simply there to tear apart the candidate's opponent.

Announcement to candidates: I don't want to vote for you because you are just the lesser of two evils. Your opponent has done something wrong, therefore I should vote for you? No, I want to vote for you because you'll do a good job. So please, convince me of that and I'll forget about your opponent.

It really gets to me that every election seems to come down to who is less terrible, rather than who is most qualified.

Butts

Allow me a gripe session for a moment, if you please.

When did littering cigarettes become so socially acceptable? If you choose to pollute your body with cigarettes, that's your right and your choice. I'm really not in a place to judge with my lack of fruits and veggies and my love of candy. But I don't go throwing my candy wrappers out the car window or on my neighbor's steps. And while there may be a few who do litter candy wrappers, it's the exception.

But littering cigarettes? I can't a remember a day that I've been on the road and not seen at least one person litter a cigarette butt. Usually much more than one person. Why do people think this is OK? Your car comes with an ashtray. Use it. And if you don't like the gross butt in your car - don't smoke!

If you know or are someone who smokes and doesn't throw your butts on the ground, please, let me know. Because I'm starting to wonder if there are any smokers out there who don't litter.

Fuel

There is a direct correlation between my mood and whether or not I've spent time with God that day. If I have spent time with God, even when things go awry, I stay pretty positive. When I haven't spent time with him, the smallest glitch - or even nothing going wrong - puts me in an irritable mood.

Much like my car needs fuel to run, I need God to fill me and fuel me each day. When I run on my own energy, I am quickly drained. But when I commune with him in prayer and basking in his word, he fills me with the strength I need.

Gone

A friend of mine from my youth group died over 4 years ago. He was a guy I'd had a major crush on in 8th grade, and sometimes one of us would catch a ride home with the other's family, but we'd never really been close friends. Still, in a youth group of 30 kids or so and over the course of 6 years, we got to know each other pretty well.

I really hadn't thought of him much between I'd graduated high school and when I learned he was missing (they found his body four days later). I doubt I ever would have seen him again even if he hadn't died so young, since I don't get back to Rhode Island much and like I said, we were never very close friends.

But every now and then I think of him. I'll see someone who looks kind of like him, or I'll hear "Gettin' Jiggy With It" (his favorite song during my crush), or some other little thing will remind me of him. And it always makes me cry. Even though like I said, I probably wouldn't have seen him again on this earth anyway, it makes me sad to know that I for sure won't. It makes me sad to think of all the people who were close to him that he left behind. It makes me sad that this boy who at age 13 I was sure I would marry never did get the chance to find a wife.

It's weird. No one close to me has ever died. My grandpa died, but I didn't really know him that well. And when I think how sad it to makes me that this distant friend from the past is gone - even four years later - I shudder to think how hard it will be when that day comes that a close loved one of mine passes on.

Owl

When I was about 5 years old, I made a paper bag owl puppet in Sunday School. I was so proud of my owl puppet and had great plans to play with it at home.

Driving home with my mom and 12 year old sister, we had the windows down. And wouldn't you know it, a big gust of wind blew that owl right out of my hands and off to the side of the road.

My mom pulled over, and she and my sister helped me chase down that owl puppet and save it from doom. And that meant so much to me, so much so that 21 years later I'm still touched that they did that.

I can't imagine it was the greatest masterpiece; it was made by a five-year old. My mom must have known that it was something I'd throw out someday anyway. Or she could have just gotten out a paper bag at home and helped me re-create it. But she knew that owl - the one one the side of the road - was important to me.

That's an enormous amount of respect. When something that's important to someone else - regardless of how you view it - becomes something that you'll pull over and salvage from the side of the road.

Options

I'm kind of in a funk tonight. A little nauseous (no, I'm not pregnant) but hungry, so determining what food sounded appetizing was difficult. I'm tired (still not pregnant), but felt like doing something, so I had to figure out whether to build up the energy to go for a walk or something, or stay in and watch a movie, or just fritter the evening away with meaningless time wasting. I chose the movie.

But as I catered to my funk, I couldn't help but be grateful. Not grateful that I'm in a funk, but grateful to have options. So many people don't have options of what food sounds appetizing to them - they eat whatever they can. IF they have the option to eat that night. So many people don't have options to have pleasant leisure time.

I do. You probably do to, unless you're a hobo reading this on a library computer. And even though it's not nice to be in a funk, it's nice to know that when you are you have the option to baby yourself, whether or not you choose to indulge it.

And I'm also grateful that Dan was willing to cater to my funk. He went and got me Ritz crackers and McDonald's fries, and the chick flick of my choice (which he watched with me). Thanks Babe!

Ego

I was reading 1 Corinthians 1 this morning, where Paul talks about how there are divisions in the church because some people are saying they follow Jesus, some that they follow Apollos, or Peter, or Paul. And Paul wants to put a stop to it. He says he's glad he didn't baptize any of them so they can't say they were baptized in his name.

I don't know that I'd be so firm about putting a stop to someone giving me that kind of praise. Not that I want people to worship me, but there's something about being important that feeds my ego. I'd like to take credit for things. I'd like to be recognized more. That's what the sinful nature inside of me desires.

And every day is a battle to shush that voice that says it's all about me and to point to Jesus in everything I do.

Seekers

About a decade (or more) ago, there came this movement in the church to become more seeker-friendly. We can't reach people if we never see them. So let's make ourselves super appealing with awesome worship bands and cool lighting, and messages that don't get into the Bible in a way that will be too much for a first-timer. Some churches took this philosophy more seriously than others. And I think most churches had the intention of then discipling those who came. The problem is, the focus was on attracting seekers. And seekers soon became more important than depth and discipling.

I've heard more and more rumblings from people lately (echoing my own thoughts) about wanting more from the church. The problem with being seeker-friendly (at least the way we've done it) is that it's so shallow. And shallow doesn't hold people's attention for long. There's this longing in all of us to be a part of something meaningful, and a fog machine just won't fill that longing.

I remember in college feeling this way, too. In a town with a Christian college, all of the churches were competing to have the most appeal to the Wheaton student audience. And at the beginning of each year, there was a church fair day where churches could set up tables along the quad to inform students about their church.

It felt like a circus to me. There were free CDs. And donuts. And candy. And t-shirts. And I'm not saying I turned down the donuts and candy (I'm only human), but all those giveaways pretty much deterred me from wanting to go to that church. Because if you have to bribe me with donuts to come to your church, my gut tells me that's the most filled I'll ever get there.

Then I saw the table for the church I ended up going to. No big fancy displays. No giveaways. Not even a basket of starlight mints. Just a sign, and I can't remember exactly what it said but something simple about how they teach God's word and help people grow closer to him. Yes, I thought. That's what I want so much more than donuts. I want to know God's word and grow closer to him.

Granted, I'm a been-churched-my-whole-life kind of person. I'm not the sought out seeker. But I don't think shallow hooks anyone for long. And even if it does, has it really transformed them, or just gotten them to block out an hour on Sunday mornings?

Me

I've always had a very clear sense of self. What I like, what I don't like, what I'm good at. It was never hard for my family to buy me Christmas and birthday presents. I was me, and I made sure everyone knew who I was.

I wrote the blog "25 Things about Ali" the other day and while it was a little difficult to think of 25 things on the spot, it really wasn't too hard to think of what makes me unique. In fact since then I came up with two more things that I posted as a comment on that blog, plus these 5:

- I eat gravy like soup
- I hate having more than 2 ice cubes in my drink
- I always carve my name into takeout boxes from restaurants
- I hate live music recordings
- I used to be a really slow eater and my mom always had to remind me, "Take another bite, Alison..."

And I'm sure I'll think of more. Because I'm confident in who I am and I know who I am. I think part of it is how God made me, and part of it is how my parents nurtured me to be confident in myself.

I'm really thankful for that. I know people who struggle to figure out who they are, and I've never felt that. In college I struggled with figuring out what I wanted to major in and what career to pursue, but mostly because I couldn't think of all the options out there. Once I heard "curriculum", I knew that's what I was going to do.

So while I may be a little weird, I'm cool with that, and I'm thankful to know who I am.

Jesus Alone?

They say you can't rely on your spouse and friends to fill all your needs. No human can fill all your needs - you need Jesus to do that.

But I think sometimes when people say that, they take it to the extreme. As if Jesus is supposed to fill all of our needs, therefore we should never feel lonely if people aren't spending time with us. Jesus is supposed to fill all of our needs, so we can just tell him everything rather than building trustworthy relationships.

And while Jesus can fill all of our needs, I don't think that's how he intended it. God made us for community. The Bible is full of "one another" commands for how to treat our friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. He doesn't want us to just hole up and only be in relationship with him. And I don't think he wants us to settle for sub-par relationships just because he can fill the holes left by that relationship.

Relying on Jesus to fill our needs should never be an excuse to settle in our relationships with people.

Initiative

A friend of mine recently posted as her status something about how much she appreciates when friends take the initiative to do things with her. She noted that her own insecurities often prevent her from taking the initiative, and she really appreciates it when other people do it.

I could really identify with a lot of that. I've often taken the role of initiator in my relationships, being the one to suggest that a friend and I get together. Or especially in college, when people so often would say, "We should do lunch sometime" and nothing would ever come of it. If anyone ever said "we should do lunch sometime" to me, I'd say, "How's Tuesday at 11:30?" I hated leaving these vague and unofficial plans hanging because they usually amounted to nothing.

I realize that sounds like the opposite of identifying with my friend's status. But hear me out.

Because I've so often taken that role of initiator, that's become my role and my role alone in some relationships. And while I don't mind initiating spending time with people, when I'm the only one doing it in relationship it feels so one-sided. And I start to wonder, "Does this person really want to spend time with me? Or are they just saying yes because they don't know how to let me down gently?"

So when a friend takes the initiative to ask ME to do something, it means SO much to me. It tells me that yes, that person DOES want to spend time with me. And that gives me the confidence to pursue the friendship more and to be a better friend to that person. For me, taking initiative to spend time with people has to be a two way street or the friendship fizzles out in my own insecurities. (Which are only confirmed when I cease to take initiative and the person doesn't seem to notice or care.)

I think I sometimes exude this sense of self-confidence. And it's true to an extent - I'm secure in who I am. I'm not going to change who I am to fit in. But when it comes to relationships, I really struggle with insecurity and wondering if that person really truly likes me.

Relly

At Group, as with any company that puts out products to customers, we sometimes get complaints. And when we get them, some people tend to be overly negative and super nit-picky. I mean really stupid little details that effect nothing, and they just blow it up to be this huge deal. We get a lot of great feedback that's critical but kindly worded with helpful things we could improve, and that's great. But when we get those nit-picky negative Nellies who just seem to hate everything, it really frustrates me.

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, we had the Fun Shop for 5th graders at Group. And as I also mentioned, it did NOT go perfectly. We ran out of pizza and had to rush to get more. Lunch ran short. There was mass confusion at one point. Lots to complain about, really.

But these 5th graders were so positive in their evaluations. Some of them mentioned they wished there was more time for the main part of the event (which was why lunch ran short), or that they wish there was more pizza, but even those who mentioned it had other glowing reviews all over their evaluations. They clearly didn't let the glitches spoil their day. And the majority said they wouldn't change anything about the day, it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun (yep, at least that many o's), they had a "relly" fun time, and it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!! (With Peanut-like exclamation points.)

I mentioned this to a friend today and I said I wished all our customers were 5th graders. They were so encouraging, even in their suggestions for improvement. And how many adults do you know that would put 30 o's at the end of the word "so"?

My friend asked rhetorically, "I wonder when we lose that enthusiasm." Somewhere between 5th grade and adulthood, we drop some o's off of our sooooo's. We lose a few exclamation points. Things aren't "relly fun" anymore. I think maybe that's one reason Jesus wanted us to become more like children. They have such a zeal and enthusiasm for life. They don't sweat the small mistakes of an overall great day. (And if they get out of school, it's pretty much going to be a great day.)

Maybe the question isn't "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?" but rather, "Are you as happy as a 5th grader?"

Success

Today I was in charge of an event called the FunShop at Group. It's an event for 5th graders to come to Group, learn some career skills, and learn about the publishing world. Group has done it before, but with different content and I've never been a part of it.

I've done event planning before and I hated it...too much stress. But this was a smaller event than the things I'd done before, and it was a lot of fun. I got to be a part of it and do fun things with kids, which is always awesome.

Did it go perfectly? No. I have a whole list of things that I want to do differently next time. But as I read over the evaluations today, the kids loved it. They learned things and had a great time. And I realized that success doesn't mean doing things perfectly, especially the first time you try it. There will be glitches. No one can plan something perfectly.

But success is doing things the best you can, making a difference in people's lives even if there are things that could go better, and learning how you can improve it for the next time around.

You can check out what the kids at group.com/funshop.

25 Things About Ali

1. There are three main smells I despise: peanuts/peanut butter (makes me nauseous), cinnamon, oranges/citrus.

2. I really like to drink from straws. I hardly ever drink without a straw if I can help it.

3. In college, I named all sorts of inanimate objects, including Jabir the Couch, Fido the Phone, and Fluffy the Answering machine.

4. Currently, my car's name is Carrie Corolla, and my laptop is Stewie. But I haven't named anything else inanimate.

5. My last haircut was June 2009.

6. I dressed as our school mascot, an elephant, for several homecomings.

7. I have a profound dislike for envelopes, once their function has been fulfilled.

8. I love chicken noodle soup, but not the chicken in it.

9. I have a collection of monkey stuffed animals.

10. Until I got married and had red as a wedding color, my favorite color was rainbow.

11. I hate musicals and have been known to fast forward through the songs in Disney movies so as to get on with the plot.

12. I frequently make loud exclamations of the word, "Puppies!" because I get excited to have them around.

13. My cookie obsession started on February 13, 2009, when Fireside started serving them.

14. When I go grocery shopping, I am extremely driven. In and out of Walmart in 30 minutes or less, including checkout time. Don't get in my way, and I may not stop the cart to grab what I need off the shelves.

15. My right leg is 9 millimeters shorter than my left leg. My right arm is also slightly shorter than my left, and my right eye slightly smaller that my left.

16. I often get cravings for one of the following: fried chicken, soup, gummy bears, Cheetos, cookies, chipwiches, Pringles, and plain milk chocolate.

17. I collect half price Cadbury Mini Eggs (the solid milk chocolate with crisp sugar shell eggs, in the purple bag) after Easter and Christmas, and eat them throughout the year. I used to keep a spreadsheet to make sure I was evenly rationing them, but I gave that up.

18. In 5th grade I was convinced I was an alien from the planet Zebop.

19. I can say the alphabet backwards in under 3 seconds.

20. I need at least 9 hours of sleep a night or I'm exhausted the next day.

21. I hate being alone, and I hate being in groups. I like one-on-one time.

22. Although I was never girly, never liked princesses or pink, I now dress as a princess every Halloween just so I can make the most of those prom dresses in my closet and the tiara from my wedding.

23. My 4th grade Halloween, I dressed as a functional lamp.

24. I've never been out of the United States, not even to Canada.

25. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people multitask when spending time with me. Don't text, don't talk on your phone, don't go online. Do that on your own time if you've made plans with me.

Self-Esteem

Yesterday at Walmart I saw a girl falling out of her shirt so far that more than just cleavage was showing. It was very disturbing...mostly because I thought about why the girl was dressed like that. I wanted to run to the clothing department, grab a shirt off the rack, buy it for her, and say, "you're worth more than this."

On the whole, when girls dress in ways that expose themselves that much, it's a self-esteem issue. There's a line between dressing tastefully but hot, and dressing to attract attention from guys. And when it's to attract attention, it's usually because the girl in question doesn't believe she has enough worth as a person to attract guys with anything other than her chest.

And is it any wonder? The world screams at women, via TV, magazine covers, you name it, that to be worth something is to be hot. And to show that hot body off. And then it becomes a vicious cycle: girl dresses to flaunt herself, it gets guys' attention, girl's suspicion is confirmed that to attract a guys attention she must dress to flaunt herself. And so guys learn more and more to see women as sex objects; after all, they dress to show off their bodies. "Isn't that what they want?" guys wonder, unaware of the inner struggle us girls face between wanting so badly to be valued and wondering if we'll ever get the attention we crave without some unhealthy flaunting.

I don't know how to break the cycle. But somehow us women have to learn that we have more worth than our physical bodies.

Transition

I remember as a kid sitting bored as I waited for my mom to stop talking with a friend. What could they possibly have to talk about for so long? Who could be interested in talking for that long? It all seemed so boring.

Now I'm grown up and I like to get together with friends over non-coffee cafe drinks for a nice chat. Or hang out after small group (which has just been a couple hours of talking) to find out what's up with them. Turns out it's not so boring once you become an adult.

And yet, the things that come so naturally to kids - playing, pretending, letting loose, having fun - don't come so naturally anymore.

Somewhere between childhood and adult, we lose our ability to pretend and grow an ability to interact only verbally.

And I think that somewhere between those two lies the best way to live. To be able to make a game out of whatever you've got, to have fun, to pretend and daydream and not be confined by reality...but still to be able to interact with people in a way that shows genuine care for what's going on in their lives.

Finishing Well

I've been reading in 2 Chronicles lately and with all the brief glimpses into the lives of the kings of Judah, it's got me thinking about living life well to the end. Here are three accounts that stuck out to me.

Asa: Does good and right. Tears down foreign altars and Asherah poles. Wins a couple battles by trusting in God. And then towards the end of his life, Asa gets nervous about enemy attacks. So he makes a treaty with the king of Aram, putting his trust in the king to save Judah rather than putting his trust in God. God isn't happy about this. And then Asa gets angry at the prophet who tells him God isn't happy, so he puts him in prison and brutally oppresses people. And then he gets a severe food disease and this is what the Bible says: "Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the Lord, but only from the physicians." And then he dies. A life well lived except at the very end, when he refused to trust in God.

Jehoshaphat: Does good and right. Follows God, removes high places. Makes an alliance with Israel, and then Israel wants to go to battle against Ramoth Gilead. Now, the king of Israel (Ahab) isn't a good king, but Jehoshaphat is, so he wants to seek the counsel of the Lord. Ahab brings in all these false prophets and they say to go for it. But Jehoshaphat recognizes that they're fake and asks for a real prophet. Ahab says they have one but he doesn't like him because he's always giving them bad news. But they call him in, and the prophet says Ahab will die in battle if they go. So they go. And Ahab dies. Which was what God wanted...but he didn't want Jehoshaphat to be a part of it. So the next time there's a battle, just for Judah, Jehoshaphat seeks God's guidance again and follows it to the T, appointing people to worship God as they basically stand unarmed against the enemy. And they win, because they did what God said.

Jehoram: Bad guy. Never did anything right. Gets a disease in his bowels until they eventually fall out, which kills him. (For real.) And then the Bible says this: "He passed away to no one's regret."

Three kings. Two who started out good, only one who finished well. Finishing well isn't about being perfect. It's about learning from your mistakes and doing the right thing the next time around. Asa didn't get that. He let one bad choice harden him for the rest of his life. He ruined his ending. Jehoshaphat got it. So he followed God the next time. And Jehoram? No one even missed him when he was gone. He'd never done the right thing.

Control

We're reading this book "Linchpin" by Seth Godin at work. And while I disagree with a lot of the things he says, I think he makes some good points in there.

Particularly in the chapter "There Is No Map." He talks about how we get so easily annoyed and distracted by a car honking its horn outside, but if the noise comes from the wind scratching a twig against the window, we feel comforted and safe and continue doing what we're doing. Or how if a presentation is disrupted by human error (someone didn't check the batteries in the microphone), it could throw him all off balance...but if the projector dies he just adapts.

Godin writes, "The ability to see the world as it is begins with an understanding that perhaps it's not your job to change what can't be changed."

As you may have surmised from my color coded magnetic dinner calendar, I'm a bit of a control freak. And Godin isn't saying that trying to control things is bad. He's just saying it's important to discern what's within our power to change and control, and what's not. And to let go of the things that are beyond our control.

But even if things seem beyond our control, Godin writes, "If you're able to look at what's happening in your world and say, 'There's the pattern,' or 'Wow, that's interesting, I wonder why,' then you're far more likely to respond productively than if your reaction is, 'How dare he!'"

So if, for instance, I find that the same car continually cuts me off on the way to work, I could get frustrated with this terrible driver...or I could observe the pattern and adapt by choosing a different route or leaving at a different time. Although I can't control the driver, I could limit my interaction with him. And if different cars cut me off at random with no discernible pattern, then there's nothing I can do about it, and using any mental exertion being frustrated is a waste.

I think this is all similar to what I blogged about a few days ago in my blog "Problems." Either do something about it or get over it. But I think along with that goes this ability Godin writes about, the ability to discern what is and isn't worth our effort.