Fear

In Exodus 32, the Israelites make a golden calf for an idol, even though God had just rescued them from Egypt and parted the Red Sea so they could escape the ensuing army.

And God gets mad.

He tells Moses the people are stiff-necked and he is going to destroy them. Moses pleads for God to spare them, and he does.

This anger makes total sense to me. They're worshipping an idol, unashamedly engaging in pagan practices even as God meets with their leader to create a covenant. Of course God would be angry. They've betrayed him.

Then I read Numbers 14. An almost identical scene—God gets mad and tells Moses he's going to destroy the Israelites. Moses pleads, and God relents.

Why did God get mad this time? Not because of an idol. Because of fear. The Israelites had sent a few spies into the Promised Land and gotten mixed reviews, so they decide it would be better to go back to Egypt. They decide to appoint a new leader, maybe even kill Moses, and head back.

It struck me as I read this that God got just as mad about the Israelites letting fear hold them back as he did about them worshipping an idol. In fact, fear is a form of idolatry. It's a way of saying, "Sure, God is powerful but this thing that I'm afraid of is more powerful."

The fact is, what God had for the Israelites was so much better than the alternative they wanted to go back to! They had so much more to fear heading back to Egypt than heading into the Promised Land. But Egypt was known—they could rely on themselves. Heading into the Promised Land was unknown, and they had to trust God to get them through it.

I've never worshipped a golden calf. But I have let fear keep me from doing what I know God has for me. I have chosen the path that seems easier, just because I know it and can trust in myself. And that hurts God just as much as worshipping a golden calf.