Gone

A friend of mine from my youth group died over 4 years ago. He was a guy I'd had a major crush on in 8th grade, and sometimes one of us would catch a ride home with the other's family, but we'd never really been close friends. Still, in a youth group of 30 kids or so and over the course of 6 years, we got to know each other pretty well.

I really hadn't thought of him much between I'd graduated high school and when I learned he was missing (they found his body four days later). I doubt I ever would have seen him again even if he hadn't died so young, since I don't get back to Rhode Island much and like I said, we were never very close friends.

But every now and then I think of him. I'll see someone who looks kind of like him, or I'll hear "Gettin' Jiggy With It" (his favorite song during my crush), or some other little thing will remind me of him. And it always makes me cry. Even though like I said, I probably wouldn't have seen him again on this earth anyway, it makes me sad to know that I for sure won't. It makes me sad to think of all the people who were close to him that he left behind. It makes me sad that this boy who at age 13 I was sure I would marry never did get the chance to find a wife.

It's weird. No one close to me has ever died. My grandpa died, but I didn't really know him that well. And when I think how sad it to makes me that this distant friend from the past is gone - even four years later - I shudder to think how hard it will be when that day comes that a close loved one of mine passes on.