Settling In

This post has been percolating in my head since last Sunday. Since just hours after I wrote my post about seeing my neighbors through God's eyes. (I told you he still had work to do.)

Last Sunday I went for a walk with the pups. And when I came back, my new neighbor, one whom I've only been able to see as a caricature of this obnoxious irresponsible drunk, was sitting on her front step smoking.

So me and the pups went over to say hi. And then she and I had a 15-20 minute conversation about random small talk type stuff - the weather, where we'd grown up, etc. And I went into my house feeling like I was beginning to see her as an actual person. Not that anything in this conversation was deeply profound, it was just...a normal conversation. Which was what I needed to start to see her as a normal person.

And then later on, as I sat on my back porch quietly reading, my presence seemingly unknown to her, I got a glimpse into an area of pain in her life. And that's when I first started to see her through God's eyes. No longer a caricature, and not simply as a normal person, but as a normal person with real struggles and pain. A normal person who needed to know she was valuable and loved.

And in fact, I had something to offer her to help with this pain. And I don't mean a simple religious answer—I need to build a relationship with her to get there. I mean I knew of someone who might be able to help her. I tried to be non-invasive about it—she hadn't opened up her pain to me on purpose—but I gave her a pamphlet and said maybe it could help her. I realized as soon as I heard her pain that this was the way I was meant to speak up and use my powerful words this week.

You see how everything God's been teaching me is all tying together?

Fast forward to Tuesday. I went to Anchor, a 20-something group at my new church. The message was about Jeremiah 29. Which delighted me so much because one of my pet peeves is when people quote Jeremiah 29:11 all the time out of context. But this message was about Jeremiah 29. Contextually. Yay!

And as we talked about transition and about how the Judeans were supposed to treat their exile as a kind of permanent thing...a lightbulb went off. You see, the Judeans were supposed to settle into the land. They were supposed to build houses—not pitch tents. They were supposed to plant gardens, producing for the land that had been the land of their enemies. They were supposed to build meaningful relationships, not putting marriage on hold. And they were even supposed to seek the prosperity of this place that didn't feel like home, that they would've wanted to see as a temporary transition.

And that's when it hit me. I've been living here for 5 years, and based on my plans I'll be here for 3 more years while I save for a house. The whole time I've lived here I've felt like I'd live here until I can buy a house. I've recognized that this is what I hope will be my last rental home. But I've seen it as a temporary home. A step while I get my 20% down saved up. I've never really viewed it as a neighborhood to settle into for 8-ish years. A neighborhood to contribute to, to be an active part of, to seek the prosperity of. A place to build meaningful relationships. I've settled into my internal home with my stuff, but not the society of people around me.

You see, part of the problem with focusing on Jeremiah 29:11 is that it focuses on God's plans for the future. And hopefully for me, that includes home ownership. But when you focus on God's plans for the future all the time, you can miss out on God's plans for you right now. Right now, God has called me here to this rental. God has called me to dwell among the people here and embrace life here, however annoying my neighbors may be at times. And I've been too focused on my plans for a house to accept that. I've been viewing my neighbors (at least the annoying ones) as an obnoxious thing I have to put up with while I wait for life to get better.

Jeremiah 29 isn't primarily about God's plans for the future. It's about embracing God's plan for you right now and in the future. And it's about time I embrace life here on my street.

"Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. PRay to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." - Jer Bear 29:7

Neighbors

Recently, I posted on Facebook that I started a spreadsheet to help me remember my neighbors' names. I've lived in this rental for almost 5 years now, and I've seen a lot of turnover in the adjoining townhomes. So I've had a hard time keeping track of everyone.

But recently I was thinking about the kind of neighbor I used to be. Back in Wisconsin, in my first apartment. Without any kind of spreadsheet and even after years have passed, I clearly remember many of my neighbors and their names. I've blogged about some of them before. But most recently, I was thinking about the way I treated those neighbors.

There was Page, a very shy little girl I invited to VBS at my church, where she blossomed. Her mom came to the closing event and was amazed at how much Page had come out of her shell. I don't know where Page is today, but I hope she remembers that week at VBS and how much she loved learning about Jesus.

There was Olivia, a 5th grader who was delighted when I gave her a children's Bible. I had many conversations with her and her mom, and I wonder: does Olivia still have that Bible? Does she read it? Is she seeking to know more about God today?

There was Emmanuel and Shoshanda, a brother and sister in a home of neglect and physical abuse that I never could prove to CPS. But I gave them what their parents didn't: attention, care, and love. When Emmanuel hit his head and his parents just yelled at him to finish the task they'd asked their 3-year old to do, I helped him get them their keys and then I hugged him until the tears stopped. I played hopscotch and jump rope with Shoshanda. And I wonder: did my influence in their lives give them a glimpse that not all people are mean? That there is hope and love in this world?

There was Tish, a single mom with 6 kids under the age of 8. Like me, Tish lived on the 2nd floor. But unlike me, she had two kids who couldn't walk and a third who could only barely crawl up the stairs. And since her oldest wasn't old enough to safely carry the others up the stairs, I would listen through my thin walls for the sound of Tish and her kids entering the building, and I'd go down to help her carry them all upstairs. When my ex and I got the dishes on our wedding registry, we gave her my old set and discovered she only had one small pot. So a week later when we unexpectedly got a gift card to Walmart, we used it to buy her a pot set, other kitchen utensils, and some toys for the kids. And I wonder: does Tish have a good support system now? Does she know that God loves her?

There was Jessica, whom I never met but often heard through my floor, fighting with her boyfriend. And after one particularly mean fight in which her boyfriend talked about how much hotter his ex was, I left a note on her door to let her know that she was beautiful and God loved her, and not to let anyone tell her otherwise.

There was the neighbor I saw getting shoved by a man, and I called the police. Later, I received a subpoena and helped put the man in jail for his assault. I only actually met that neighbor in the court's waiting area after I testified. But I'm glad I was able to help keep her safe from this man for at least a little bit.

I say these things not to brag about my good deeds, but out of conviction. What happened to me being that kind of neighbor? The one who saw the needs of those around her and stepped in to help? The one who reached out? Because in the five years I've been in Colorado, I've done hardly anything to help my neighbors. And maybe it's because my neighbors here don't have needs quite so obvious. And my walls aren't paper thin anymore so I can't hear the problems carry through them.

Or maybe it's because I've retreated inward, used my introvertedness as an excuse not to see or help when I see people around me hurting.

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

- Luke 10:36-37

May I be the kind of neighbor who shows mercy and compassion.