Do You See Her?

Last week at LifeBridge, Rick Rusaw talked about loving your neighbors. A sermon I both resented and begrudgingly needed.

Here's what most stuck out to me. He looked at Luke 7, when a sinful woman, known to be a prostitute, comes and anoints Jesus' feet with perfume.

Those around Jesus scoff. In verse 39 the Pharisees think Jesus must not really know very much. Because if he really knew what kind of woman this was, he'd kick her out.

But Jesus reads their thoughts and tells a little mini-parable about how the more sinful the person, the more they need forgiveness.

And then he says this in verse 44, "Do you see this woman?"

I'd never really paid a whole lot of attention to that phrase, but I loved Pastor Rick's interpretation. This wasn't a vision test like, "Hey, see there's this lady here?" It was a heartfelt thought of, "Do you see her? Really see her? Do you see past the exterior of the life she's known for, into her heart? Do you see her hurts, her hopes, her dreams? Or do you just see her stuff?"

I for one tend to have a hard time seeing past people's "stuff." But Jesus never did. That's why he was always hanging out with tax collectors and prostitutes and sinners. Because to him they weren't just tax collectors and prostitutes and sinners. They were more than their labels. They were people.

I pray that I'll be able to see through the eyes of God, past the labels and into the hurts, hopes, and dreams of the people God has placed in my life.

Accountability

An anonymous poster put this comment on my blog, Fault.

Ali - I only know about the situation what I've seen here but it doesn't sound like people are judging you, it sounds more like friends offering accountability to me. Which is an amazing thing that you have friends that care about you so much that they'll offer the 'tough love' that's needed sometimes in life. At least that's my assumption to what is happening..again I only know what I've read here.

Which is fine, this person admits to having a very limited view of the situation. The person didn't know that the two others who commented before him aren't even people I know in real life. (Although I didn't really take their comments to be judgment or accountability anyway.)

But it got me thinking about what accountability really is. And how it seems like Christians are often eager to hold people accountable, even if they haven't made much of an effort to care about the person before that person did something to be viewed as a wicked sinner.

I'm all for friends holding me accountable. I know who I can go to when I just want to hear encouragement and support no matter how wrong I know I am, and I know who I can go to when I need people who will be honest and tell it like it is. I've welcomed the latter from good friends throughout my life, and most recently in regards to my divorce.

What I'm not for is people popping into your life just to "hold you accountable." That isn't accountability, in my mind. It's judgment. No matter how lovingly it's said. If you never cared about having or maintaining a relationship with me before, you don't have a right to criticize my decisions now. Because chances are, I'm not going to want to get into the specifics with you. You haven't earned my trust. And so you will always be "holding me accountable" from a blinded viewpoint, without all the information.

If you want to earn the right to hold someone accountable if and when they do mess up, don't wait for them to mess up. Be a caring friend in the first place. If you haven't done that, trust that their real friends have covered the accountability with them.