Writing on the Wall

People often use the concept of "writing on the wall" to express a desire to have God communicate his will with them directly. There was one time where I experienced writing on the wall firsthand.

I was in college, in a relationship with a guy I shouldn't have been in a relationship with. He went to another college, Concordia St. Paul (aka CSP). It was far away, and I wanted to be with him so badly. So one cold winter night, I went on a walk to pray about it. And by pray, I mean tell God to make my way happen.

As I approached a playground, I asked God to give me writing on the wall to show me what to do. Then I frantically searched the snow for a message. Nothing. I decided to sit on the playground equipment. And when I sat down, my butt freezing to the metal, I was looking directly at one of those tic-tac-toe boards playgrounds sometimes have. Only for whatever reason, instead of Xs and Os, there were letters. And the letters were random in the first column. But the second column said ALI. And the third column said CSP.

Boy, was I psyched. I'd asked for writing on the wall, and I'd gotten it. Clearly, God's will was for me to transfer to CSP. Or so I thought. As it turned out, things didn't work out with the guy and I stayed at Wheaton.

But I was thinking about that recently, and about what the story in Daniel 5 is really about. So I looked it up. And I realized that the writing on the wall had nothing to do with God declaring his will. God was declaring his judgment, saying the king would lose his kingdom soon because he hadn't measured up. Daniel even says this: "You have not honored the God who gives you the breath of life and controls your destiny!" That about summed it up for me, too.

Looking back, I can say with confidence that the letters that spelled out ALI CSP were indeed God's writing on the wall. But he wasn't communicating his will for me to transfer; he was communicating his judgment at the life I was living. He was telling me it needed to stop.

It's so easy to taint God's voice with our own bias.