Relationship Status

I got a couple responses to my Dating blog, one in a comment and a couple in person, about the fact that I should put myself out there for a guy to find. After all, no one is going to catch a fish if she's not in the water.

But here's the thing. I used to think that being married would make me happy. I hated 1 Corinthians 7 because I felt like Paul was saying you shouldn't get married, and I just wanted to live happily ever after with my Prince Charming. And yet having been married, I know that it doesn't mean happiness.

So, thinking on this, I read 1 Corinthians 7 tonight. And I realized that Paul's point isn't really that being married or being single is preferable, although he does angle his preferences toward being single. His point is just this: be happy where you are. Don't try to force a relationship status change. I think the reason he emphasizes the joy of singleness is because that's where he was. He was setting the example of his point. He points out that being married isn't the magic cure for unhappiness; in fact, it brings with it troubles and a distraction from ministry. So there's no reason to think that singleness is this curse, that a 70-year-old never-been-married woman is doomed to misery. In fact Paul contests that a widow will be happier if she remains unmarried. This in times where widows were impoverished outcasts!

He sums it up nicely in 1 Corinthians 7:17: "Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him." Bottom line? If you can't be happy being single, you won't be happy being married.

Then I skipped to Song of Solomon. Not the juicy parts, but the verse the Beloved repeats over and over throughout the book: "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." This coming from a woman who has found true love. (We'll temporarily ignore the fact that she shared her husband with 300 other wives, plus all the concubines.) She knows the value of waiting for the right love. Not seeking out something, but being content with her situation until her love came along. Because if you rush "love" with the wrong person, you'll find yourself in a subpar relationship.

It's like when my sister was dropping me off at the train station. And as we're driving my not-quite-3-year old niece asked the age old question, "Are we there yet?" My sister jokingly responded, "Yep, we're here, should we just drop Ali off in the middle of the street?"

Annoyed as we get by the question on car trips, adults fall into this "are we there yet?" mentality all the time on the journey of life. Rather than being content with where we are right now (single or married, in love or not), we want to know if we're "there" yet. Even though, were we to look around, it's a pretty silly question. As for me? I'm not asking if I'm there yet. I know I'm right where God wants me on my life journey, and I'll just keep riding along.

Here's what I'm confident of, no matter what my future holds:

"I am still confident of this: 

I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

Wait for the Lord;

Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

- Psalm 27:13-14