Thursday, October 18, 2012

Love Your Enemies

Jesus told us to love our enemies and pray for the people who persecute us.

So when 9/11 happened, I prayed. I prayed for the families of the victims, but most of all I prayed for Osama Bin Laden. My classmates thought I was nuts. How could I pray for a man who would commit such horrendous acts?

But I felt bad for him. How deluded, how broken, how lost was this man who would commit such horrendous acts?

This came up in conversation recently and someone asked me if that meant I'd pray for the man who abducted and killed Jessica Ridgeway. I hadn't prayed for him, but as I thought about it I realized that yes, that man needs my prayers too.

When I see people do terrible things like these, I think of Emmanuel, my former two-year old neighbor. Emmanuel was abused. I could hear him get hit, but because I never saw it happen child services wouldn't help. Emmanuel, at age two, was already mimicking this behavior, taking out his own frustrations by hitting his eight-year old sister.

And while I hope above all hopes that Emmanuel can overcome this childhood, I know that the odds are that he'll grow up to be the kind of man who beats his own wife and children. That's all he'll know. His sister Shoshanda? She might have a little more hope not to repeat the behavior...though she'll probably allow herself to be a victim all her life. I think boys tend to mimic aggression, whereas girls generally respond with fear and yet continue to trap themselves in similar situations.

I think about Emmanuel because I had this picture into his probable future when he was just two. I think about Bin Laden and how indoctrinated he must've been with evil ideas from his early childhood. I don't know the history of whoever killed Jessica Ridgeway, but he too was once just an innocent child.

I'm not saying all violent behavior results from childhood or bad parenting. But something must've happened to break these people. Maybe it wasn't in childhood. Maybe it was in college or adulthood. Either that or they have a mental illness causing their behavior. A loving, decent person without a severe mental illness doesn't just wake up one day, kidnap a ten-year old, and dismember her. Somewhere along the lines, someone probably hurt or indoctrinated these people so badly that they felt compelled to respond with evil.

Does this excuse their behavior? Absolutely not. What Bin Laden did, what Emmanuel's parents did, what Jessica Ridgeway's killer did...these are all terrible acts and I am in no way trying to justify them. And I can guarantee you that if these situations were closer and more personal to me, I wouldn't be able to have compassion on these people.

But maybe it's just because of my involvement in children's ministry, both within ministry and creating materials for it, but I can't help but picture these offenders as kids. I can't help but wonder what it is that broke them. I can't help but wonder...if someone had been able to capture their hearts with the love of Jesus...would the Twin Towers still stand? Would Jessica still be alive? Can we stop attacks like this from happening 20 years from now by helping today's children build a relationship with Jesus?

Lately I've become more sensitive to the depravity of the world. I'm moved to tears when I hear how sin and brokenness has crushed another spirit. And I've been thinking, "What can I do? What can I possibly do to stop things like Jessica Ridgeway's death from happening?" And for my part, I think that's where my call lies: to reach as many kids as I can today. To help them fall so deeply in love with Jesus that when things happen that might threaten to break their spirits and propel them into a life of abusing or adultery or even murder...they turn to Jesus and find life.

Could God use something I edit to stop a would-be Jessica Ridgeway repeater twenty, thirty years from now? I'll never know. But I know this: the acts of Emmanuel's parents are ones that will likely repeat in him. All I can do is act in a way that I want kids to repeat—and pray that God will let me pass that on in their lives.

3 comments:

Misty H said...

Very insightful Ali!
I do have a story for you that might give just an ounce of hope...
I am the victim of abuse growing up. My mother's second husband was pure evil. I had every single form of abuse done to me from the ages of 13-18. I could share stories that would make your stomach turn. After I had my own children I sank into the darkest place inside of myself. I would never lay a hand on my children however the rage that lived inside of me came out through yelling. I could make my own husband take a step back. One day my daughter who was 5 at the time, flinched when I just walked in the room. It was at that moment I walked directly into a PHD's office where I was in very intense therapy for years and put on a very high dose of anti-everything pills. I found my faith again. I made a decision that I was going to be happy, my past shaped so much of me but the horrors would not control me.
Fast forward to three years ago....we moved to Colorado, found a wonderful church home and I found a calling to ministry in a way that surprised me. Then came my current place of employment I knew without a doubt through the interview process that this place was were I was supposed to be. I wake up everyday knowing that I am going to make the most of it, live right and be happy. If I can make a few people happy along the way that is a bonus.

The point to all of this is...free will is the most powerful thing each of us has. My faith helped to pull me out what could have been a much worse fate. I am married to the most wonderful man I know, I am raising my children to respect others, love themselves and Jesus loves them always.

You keep writing that curriculum because like you said you have no idea what difference it can make.
:)

Misty H said...

oh...and no more pills! I don't need them!c

April said...

Ali - thank you for this. I am in tears as I read it. It's late and I'm exhausted, but please know that your words meant something to me tonight.