Gossip

When Dan and I were engaged, we learned that there was a rumor going around about us. Not knowing what it was, we assumed the worst.  When we learned the rumor, it was so silly it was almost laughable. Except that this silly, petty rumor had destroyed some relationships.

The rumor was about one of the families who offered to host Dan when he moved to Wisconsin. He got two offers: one was a family that had a rec-room downstairs with a fold out couch and said they'd love to have his help cooking; the other was a family that had a spare bedroom and didn't say anything about chores. He opted for the latter so that he wouldn't feel like he was intruding on the family's open space long term.

Well, the rumor was that Dan had chosen the second family because he didn't want to have to do chores. Not only was that not the case, but I'm pretty sure the cooking comment had been a joke in the first place.

It was so silly. So not "the worst" we'd been thinking. And yet, even such a silly little rumor as that caused damage. My guess is that someone made a joke along the lines of, "He probably just didn't want to cook" (said in a laughing voice), and someone took it as fact, and from there it spread. It's not that anyone meant to make up a lie (I'm guessing), it was probably rooted in miscommunication.

Gossip is so hard to stop. I know for me, it's so hard not to participate. Even if I'm not the one re-telling it, there's something within me that just can't wait to hear that tasty morsel of gossip when someone offers. I know that what I should do when someone starts to tell me a rumor is say, "Please don't tell me, I'd rather not hear rumors." But what I actually do most of the time is lean forward and perk up my ears.

So, now that I'm in a situation where I could easily be the brunt of a juicy rumor, it's hard not to wonder what people are saying about me. Especially in a church, which seems to attract gossip like sugar attracts ants. What are the things being said about why my marriage ended? What are the things being said about where I stand now? Having heard some things (rumors have a way of getting back around to the victim), I've realized afresh how hurtful and untrue gossip can be. And I'm more convicted than ever not to be a part of gossiping about another person.