My Precious

I've blogged before about how I've been spending my quiet times this year with a reflective method of reading Scripture, focusing on a couple lines at a time and really soaking them in. And as a result, almost inadvertently memorizing those passages.

These are the passages I've read so far: Psalm 93, Psalm 103, Psalm 139, and 1 John 3:1-10. And I just started Psalm 40, but I'm only 2 verses in.

This method of Scripture reading isn't for everyone. I've also been reading a book by John Ortberg called The Me I Want to Be and he talks about connecting with God in the way that is most impactful to you, not trying to imitate other people. For me, this has been an extremely healing process of self-discovery. I recommend it only to those who think it would be a good process for them.

The passages I've picked out have been somewhat arbitrary, but they mostly focus on God's greatness and his love for me. They say things like:

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" - 1 John 3


"As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him." - Psalm 103


"As a father as compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him." - Psalm 103


"From everlasting to everlasting, the Lord's love is with those who fear him." - Psalm 103


"You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." - Psalm 139

(Sorry for the lack of verse numbers. Memorizing those hasn't been a part of this journey.)

I woke up this morning feeling very unloveable. Bad things happen when I lose an hour of my day, I guess. I even said aloud as I processed my life's journey, "Am I that unloveable?" And that's when God reminded me of these verses I'd so recently reflected on and so quickly forgotten about. I'm not unloveable, because God loves me. And his love is the only love that really matters.

And then I realized that when we say and think negative things about ourselves, we are criticizing God's very carefully, fearfully, and wonderfully made creation. He made me me, not anyone else. I'm weird. I'm a nerd. I'm a picky eater. I have squinty eyes when I smile, and I get lightheaded around flashing lights. One of my legs is shorter than the other, and if not for my heel lift, my spine curves because of it causing my rib to pop out of my spine. Not one of these things is a mistake; I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

That's not to say I'm perfect. I sin daily. I struggle with pride. I am often too harsh in the way I voice my opinions. I have a know-it-all complex. These are not things that God wove into me when I was woven together. These are the things my sinful nature has brought to the mix, and I need God to deal with those.

But the things about our personalities or our appearance that make us question our value? Those are not mistakes. Any doubts or insecurities about those things are straight from the devil. And "the reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work" (1 John 3). So the devil doesn't reign in my life. "The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all" (Psalm 103).

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. So be you. And don't let Satan or anyone else try to convince you that person is unloveable. In God's sight, you are his precious, precious child.