Hard

Yesterday was a really hard day for me. It felt like Dad was making backwards progress...he'd been getting less support from the ventilator over the weekend, and they upped it again yesterday. They'd woken him up some on Sunday, and they were increasing his sedatives yesterday. I started to get scared that he wasn't going to get better.

And then last night I stayed at his trailer instead of at my sister's house, where I'd been so far. It was nice to be on a bed instead of a couch, and nice not to wake up to a three-year old telling me I needed to get up at 6:30 (though he sure is fun to play with)...but it was REALLY hard for me to be in my dad's home, sleeping in his bed. It made it all seem so final to me. Like here I was, taking his place.

Tonight I'm back at my sister's, after a day where Dad made some progress in the right direction again. It's not much, but the hospital staff doesn't seem concerned at the slow progress. It was a major surgery...today they made a bypass sound like minor surgery compared with what my Dad had. So I guess when I look at it that way, he's doing pretty well.

Tomorrow I'm probably going to be sleeping at the trailer again, so we'll see how that goes. Please keep praying for my dad, but pray for me too, that I'll have peace if I sleep at the trailer again.