Failure

You know those times when you just feel frustrated with yourself? Like a miserable failure? I'm going through such a period.

First, there's my wrist. It's not really that painful, just enough to slow me down. Just enough that if I use it a lot, even for typing without taking breaks, it starts hurting more. I'm getting so frustrated having to take breaks from typing, having to write with messy handwriting, having to struggle with my left hand to do things. It's really wearing me down.

On Friday I reached rock bottom. My wrist was hurting especially, I'd had a week full of cancelled appointments (all for good reasons, but it was still starting to hit me), and then I got a really discouraging email that got me questioning my ability to do a lot of things. I felt so demotivated I just wanted to sit and do nothing. Because even though it may be boring, it's hard to fail at being lazy.

There's a part of me deep inside that says I should take that failure, learn from it, and let it motivate me to improve. But it's hard to kindle that part of me.