Affirmation

A couple months ago our small group did a study on the book set For Men Only and For Women Only. They each give you insights into the other gender's mindset. To be honest, I expected them to be kind of obvious, things like, "men like sex." But actually, they offered great insights into Dan's mind. (We each read the one about our gender and made notes in it, so it was personalized with his thoughts on what really rung true and what didn't.) Reading those books was highly valuable to our marriage.

One thing that struck me as I was reading it was how important affirmation is for a man. I knew it, I guess, but I didn't really practice it intentionally. And it struck me that while I was affirming Dan fairly regularly, I was speaking it, which is not the most effective way to communicate with him. Writing is. (After all, that's how our relationship formed for 5 years!)

So I had this idea to buy a pad of mini-sticky notes and write him one affirming thing each day. A thank you, something I value about him, stuff like that. I've got to be honest, I haven't kept up with it every day, but I do it pretty regularly and some days I write a whole slew of 'em. It was something I felt God wanted me to do to be a better wife, and it only takes a few seconds a day.

It made a world of difference from the start. I could tell right away that he really appreciated seeing written affirmations. He even started saving them! And it's helped my attitude a lot, because I'm looking for things to appreciate about him each day. (And as a bonus for me - he's been more aware of the things I was thankful for, and more inclined to repeat them.)

Wives, I encourage you to think about how you affirm your husband, and if it's in the way he's best going to receive it.