Answered Prayers

If you've been following my Facebook status updates, you know that this weekend was a pretty rough one. On Saturday Peanut had to go to the ER vet with excessive vomiting, and on Sunday she had to go in for surgery. I prayed a lot of prayers for her safety and God brought her through the surgery, and now she seems to be on the mend.

But there have been other answered prayers that might not be as obvious unless I blog about them. First the surgery expense. I prayed that she wouldn't need surgery, but that if she did, God would help us find a way to afford it. Well, it was expensive. But not as expensive as it could have been, since the vet found ways to cut costs without compromising Peanut's care. That shaved off about $1000 off the bill. They also gave us a $500 discount just to be nice. Didn't even mention it, it just showed up on the bill.

But that still left us with a pretty whopping bill. The vet told us there was a credit company they worked with that would do a 12 month interest free loan. I was all for that. I definitely didn't want to pay interest and make this any more expensive! So we got the loan. And THEN I realized that there are 3 pay days in April instead of the normal 2, which means I'll get some extra money that's not budgeted. So that will carry us through a few months of payment, along with some birthday money people are sending. Plus in June I'll get some writing pay which should carry us through most of the rest of it. In the end, we're not having to take much out of Dan's college fund, which was my main concern. I'm so thankful that God is providing for us to take care of my little baby.

Then a couple days ago I blogged about feeling like I needed God to turn back the sun and give me an extra day. Just one day to catch up on things. Well, he didn't do that. (You would've noticed if he had.) But he has given me the energy and efficiency to get more done this week than I ever would've thought I could - even with a recovering dog and a house-training puppy. I actually don't feel buried!

I could be really stressed right now. But I'm not. God has given me peace and shown me that his hand is over my life, even in the hard times. Praise the Lord!

One Day

"The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day." - Joshua 10:13

That is what I want. I keep feeling like if I had just one extra day to catch up, I might not feel like I'm drowning. I brought some work home this weekend in hopes that if I got it all done, I'd feel like I'd caught up, and I'd be able to get things done on Monday.

Well, then Peanut had to go to the hospital and have surgery, and I was much to worried to do any work. Plus we got a puppy who is very mellow and well-behaved, but nonetheless has a 4 month old bladder that needs to empty in the middle of the night, making me tired.

Today, although I spent most of the day at the hospital with Peanut, I was able to work remotely and get a lot done. But without that edge the weekend work would have given me, I still feel behind. And it just keeps on coming!

And on top of work, I'm now having to get three different dog meals ready, more frequently due to Peanut's surgery, and figure out how to get her the medication she needs when she needs it. Luckily Dan is home in the afternoon so he can administer that dose. I'm so thankful that she survived the surgery and that I'm blessed with such a sweet dog, so I'm actually really OK with serving her and taking care of her. It's the balancing it with mountains of work (and housework) that gets a little tricky. (But she does help with the laundry, and it really piled up while she wasn't around to help me!)

But, I'm guessing God's not going to make the sun stand still for me. So I guess I'm just going to have to take one day at a time and hope someday I get to the point where I can breathe again!

House-Breaking Your Dog

I've read a lot of different things about how to house-train your dog. The newspaper thing makes no sense at all to me. It takes a long time to do and teaches your dog there are places in the house it's OK to go.

What I've done with my dogs so far, and what we're doing with Biscuit now, is kind of an adaptation of crate training. It's pretty intensive in the first week, but it's quick and very effective.
We let the dog out about 15 minutes after he's eaten or had water, immediately when he wakes up from a nap, and every couple hours during the day if he's playing or out in the open.

We watch him actively. If he's circling, we take him out right away. If he starts to go inside (which hasn't happened yet with Biscuit), we grab him abruptly (for girls, they stop peeing...we'll see what happens with a boy) and get him outside right away. We don't yell at him, as that teaches him to be ashamed to go in front of you, and he'll be more likely to try to find a place to sneak and go, and less likely to go when you're outside with him.

If we can't watch him, he's in his crate. (Which is just his size - dogs aren't likely to go to the bathroom in their sleeping area, but if you get a big crate they can have a sleeping and a bathroom area.) But if they are in a crate that's their size they should be able to hold it about 1 hour for each month old they are, plus 1 extra hour, from what I've read.

Every time we let him out, we ring a bell. We have one upstairs and one on the back door, so if we're upstairs we ring both. This will teach him quickly how to ask when he needs to go out. When he's outside, he can't come back in until he's done something. At first this can take a while, but within a day or two I've found that dogs quickly learn what they're supposed to do outside, and that helps them associate the action with the right place. When he's going, we praise him. We use the key word "potty," so we say, "Good potty!" One he learns what the word means, we'll use "Go potty" as encouragement to get him to go. But for now, to help him learn it, we only say it while he's going.

We've found this to be a very effective method of house breaking. With Peanut it was under a week before she was 95% house broken, just a few accidents here and there after that. You have to be willing to be vigilant about it, but you should find that your dog quickly learns the right place to go potty.

Small Group

I've blogged about how I want to be part of an in-depth small group with women. But here's what I don't want: 20 pages of homework a week. I've found in the past that while formal studies can be enriching, they also take up so much time that you don't have the time to do your personal Bible reading. You know, the stuff you really want to spend time with God on. Plus, if not everyone does the homework, it's kind of tough to lead the study.

So here's my ideal plan for a small group. I'm posting it because maybe you'll take it and adapt it and use it yourself. Or maybe you live in Colorado and want to join me.

Each week, women hold each other accountable for reading the Bible and spending time in prayer. They don't all have to be reading the same thing, they just hold each other accountable to do it. There's no paperwork to fill out, no structure to it. You decide what you want to read, how much, when, and your group holds you accountable to that.

Then you get together once a week to discuss these questions:

- How have you seen God at work this week?

- What has he been teaching you through situations in life?

- What has he taught you in his Word this week?

- In what areas is God encouraging you to grow?

- What answers to prayer have you seen this week?

- What prayer requests do you have? (And along with that: What plans do you have for this week?)

Then they pray together, about anything shared but especially about the prayer requests and for God's hand in your plan next week.

And that's it. No books, no study guides, just 6 questions that help people get to really know what's going on in each other's lives. Deeply, personally relating to each other and helping each other grow closer to God.

Bachelor Wrap-Up

A week later, I'm still thinking about Brad and Emily. Here's why I think they can make it.

Every single Bachelor/ette season I've watched includes the couple talking about "fairy tales" and "butterflies" and "that feeling." That's why they pick the person they do. And I think, that's why there's such a low success rate for the show. Because, as I've blogged before in response to The Bachelor, marriage and true love is not about always feeling lovey dovey or getting butterflies in your stomach. And if that's what you think love is, of course you'll break up when the butterflies stop flapping their wings.

But in the finale, Brad said to his family of Emily, "She's a truly sweet person. She makes me want to be a better man." I nearly applauded him. Yes! That's it! This was sandwiched in a whole spiel about who Emily is as a person. Not how she makes him feel, not how she looks, not their chemistry, but her character. And how that inspires him to have a better character. (And I heard nothing about butterflies or fairy tales from either party all season.)

I know Emily has her doubts having seen Brad kissing other women. (Which, I'm sorry, but it's not like she didn't know that was part of the process...) But I really hope these two make it, because I think they have the right idea about what love is. Two people who truly love each other's character, journeying through life and inspiring one another to do right.

Mothering

Last week sometime I wrote a blog that started out like this: "As a child I didn't play with dolls really at all. I played with stuffed animals a lot, but not dolls. Maybe that's why I don't feel called to be a mother of humans, why I'm satisfied being a mother to two dogs."

My sister was excited to read that blog, thinking I would expound on how my childhood impacted my lack of desire to be a mother. I didn't do that. So I thought I'd make my sister happy by expounding on it.

Like I said above, as a young child I didn't like dolls, just stuffed animals. I ADORED stuffed animals and carried one with me everywhere through 3rd or 4th grade. But I remember a few times when people gave me dolls as gifts, and I'd play with them briefly out of obligation and so that I could say in my thank you note, "I played with it today." But they were quickly discarded.

Does all that mean there's always been this innate desire within me not to be a mom? I don't know. I do know that I spent a lot more time thinking about and preparing for careers than I did thinking about or preparing for motherhood. But I do believe that as I got into my teen years, there was a part of me that wanted to be a mom for most of it. Not this aching desire to be a mom, but just kind of the assumption I would be. Maybe it's because it was the thing girls grow up to do.

I do know there was a period where I didn't want to go to college because I just wanted to be a housewife, and I didn't need a degree for that, so why spend all that money if it wasn't needed? And then somewhere in that period I realized I didn't want to have kids, and then I thought, "well what am I going to do all day if I don't have a job or kids?" And though that wasn't the deciding factor in me reconsidering my college path, it probably had an influence.

When Dan and I were dating and engaged, we of course talked about whether or not we wanted kids. He wanted 4. There was no way I wanted that many, but coming from a family of 3 kids I threw out that number. He wanted an even number, so that left 2. And that's where we were. We'd even picked out names.

But things happened, like being in charge of a nursery (seriously - if you want to teach your teens not to have sex throw them in a wing with 60 screaming infants and toddlers and the never-ending odor of diapers), and seeing people my age as moms (it's more work than it looked like from the kid-side of things), and I changed my mind. I guess looking back, it didn't take much for me to change my mind because although there've been times when I thought I'd be a mom some day, I can't recall ever feeling this aching desire to be a mom the way I hear so many women my age talk about it. Some of my friends talk about how they always knew they wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Good for them, more power to them! But that's never been something I hungered for.

But an aching desire to have a dog? Had that any time I was without one. And (cue Peanut) sometimes when I already had one. And (cue, "Dan, let's get another puppy to play with Peanut!") sometimes when I already had two.

People tell me all the time, "Oh, you're young, you've got time to change your mind." Well, biological clock or not, the fact is that it's not just that I don't want kids at the moment. The fact is it's never in my life been a great desire. And the more societal pressure is put on me to change my mind, the more it feels like, "the thing women are supposed to do" and less something I - in my heart of hearts - really want. The more women talk about what a blessing it is, and how much joy I'll find in it, the more I think they feel that way because they wanted kids. Maybe not in the timing they got them, but eventually.

America

One thing that I've never understood is when people get all upset about the American government doing things that don't mesh with Christian faith.

We were talking about this briefly at my small group on Sunday night, and one person made a great point: "When does the Bible ever promise that we'll have government backing for Christianity? Look at the government Jesus lived under. The early church." It's true - the American government is far closer to Christian morals than the governments that killed babies in effort to abolish the coming King, crucified a man who rightly claimed to be God, or persecuted Christians for their faith.

And yet, we as American Christians feel this sense of entitlement that the government should back us up. And when they fail, we moan and whine. We say we're getting away from the moral values of the founding fathers.

And can I just say something about the founding fathers? Their morals gave us mass killings of native Americans and the theft of their land. Slavery. No rights for women. Putting people in stocks if they didn't attend a 6 hour church service (while touting "freedom of religion").

Clinton wasn't the first President to cheat on his wife, you know. Remember Prez #3, Jefferson? With all the illegitimate slave children? How about all the woman Ben Franklin slept with, the many illegitimate children he may have fathered? No...our founding fathers were not ideal. We just didn't have the media power to shed the kind of light on it that we do now. There was no SNL to mock the shortcomings of our leaders.

All this to say: America doesn't really have a Christian past. It may have called itself Christian at one point, but it wasn't ever full of Christian morals. And I'm OK if it doesn't have a Christian future. Because that's not a promise we're given, and ultimately, it's the church's job to shine the light of Christ and do his work. Let's not abandon our responsibility by shoving it to DC.

Profile Pic

I recently changed my profile picture. It's one I took with my MacBook camera, and I loved how it turned out. And then when I played with the coloring, I liked it even more.

To me, it's symbolic of who I am. I'm contemplating something, which is pretty typical. I philosophize a lot, as you've probably surmised if you read my blog regularly.

And I'm looking up. Looking up to my God. Because ultimately, that's where I want my vision to be.

Also, my hair looks really good, I think.

For or Against?

I was thinking today about how Christians often get the reputation of being against a lot of things. Rather than being know for being FOR positive things, we're known for being AGAINST negative things. We may call it pro-life, but people see it as anti-abortion.

Which got me thinking about how the way we approach things really sets the tone for that. For instance, picketing outside an abortion clinic sends the message that we're AGAINST abortion. Providing free services to help counsel women in other options and seek different choices sends the message that we're FOR the life of a fetus.

Furthermore, sending the message that we're AGAINST things really doesn't give people a good view of us. If we picket outside that clinic, we're sending the message: "we don't care about you or your rights, we just care about the fetus inside of you." Offering help and counsel sends the message: "we care about the fetus inside of you, but we also value your life and your choices, and we want to help you make one that works for you and your baby." And that second one is ultimately a much better message to send.

And all this got me thinking about how I phrase things, how I think about things. I'm challenging myself to be more pro-positive and less anti-negative.

Overflow

We often get the message that the Christian life is about serving God, evangelizing, missions work. I don't think that's a good message.

It's not that those things aren't important. They are. But here's what I think: If we're truly seeking to grow closer to Jesus, love him more, and nurture our own faith, those things will be a natural overflow of Christ in us.

And if they're not an overflow of our relationship with Jesus, they're just actions. They don't amount to anything more than the Pharisees' piety did.

So that's what I want to do: nurture Christ in me. Fill myself so full of him that "witnessing" isn't something on my to do list that makes me tremble in fear...it's something that just happens because I'm bubbling over with the joy of the Lord.