Broken

I bet you could ask anyone if there's something about themselves they wish they could change, and they would name something. Anyone.

I was reading recently about how deaf people prefer to be seen as a culture, not a special needs group. And I hear the term "handi-capable" instead of "handicapped." Or "differently abled" instead of "disabled." This makes sense to me. No one wants to feel broken. No one wants to feel like there's this kind of standard way everyone should've been created, but God messed up with them. And no one should feel that way. God didn't mess up with anyone.

So here's how I feel broken: my pickiness. It plagues me. I so wish I could change the fact that I am a picky eater. People view me as childish because of my tastes. I face a lot of anxiety in social eating settings, because even if I am eating what everyone else is, comments are often made. "Oh, you have the same tastes as my 5 year old." "Oh my gosh, you don't like lemons???" And it hurts.

I have really strong taste buds. And a really strong gag reflex. And there are some foods I don't like, but can handle. But there are a lot of foods I don't like and can't swallow without throwing up in my mouth a little bit. Sometimes it's not even the flavor, it's the texture. It just makes me gag. People make light of it. They think I'm exaggerating or being a baby. They mocked me when I shared an article with research about this problem that shows it's a real condition.

I don't want to feel broken anymore than those who speak in sign language or are differently-abled. I wish I could go to a restaurant with my co-workers and not feel anxious about it. Or enter a room for a themed pot-luck lunch with the food I brought for myself and not be teased because I need to eat something different.

I am not broken. This is how God made me. And God doesn't make mistakes.