Fear

For as long as I can remember, I've had a fear of snakes. Even though in Rhode Island there were really just little harmless garden snakes, they scared me when I saw them. Even dead ones.

But when I didn't see one, I really didn't give them much thought. I just didn't like to see pictures or videos of them. But as long as they were out of sight, they were out of mind. Same thing in Wisconsin.

But then I moved to Colorado. And, well, there are rattlesnakes here. That's a fact. And they're bigger than garden snakes, and definitely more harmful. So I started worrying about snakes more. What if I ran into one? Would I find one in the parking lot at work? What about my car. Could they get in there? It started as caution and grew into an irrational phobia. And it was impacting what I would do. I didn't want to hike below 8,000 feet, because even though they CAN live above that altitude, the chances of running into one are lower and I felt safe enough to do it. But not below that height.

So I saw a counselor about it. And she did some different psychology techniques with me to help me feel confident and in-control. It got worse before it got better. I started having nightmares and picturing them when I went to bed. But in today's session, as I visualized being close to a rattlesnake, I felt confident and relaxed. And she says that will transfer to real life if I see one.

We'll see if she's right. I hope she is. But for now, I'm glad to say that I've done what I can to take control of a fear and stop letting it limit and control me.