Giving It Up

Here's a journal I wrote last January 13th, just four days before the layoffs at work. You see, we all knew they were coming, though I for one didn't anticipate the extent. But I did fear my own job security. And some emailed questions I'd been asked about my workload had me even more on the edge of my seat. Here's what I wrote in my journal:

This has all been weighing on my mind a lot. And it still is—but I've given it to God. I prayed about it the other day and I was praying about what happened at [my old job] and how I got so mad at God when all that happened. And I can look back at all that now and see how it had to be that way. He had to loosen me up in order to move me where he wanted me to be. So no matter what happens with this email (and maybe it's nothing), I want to trust in God's plan and his faithfulness.


Well I kept my job, but it wasn't easy saying goodbye many beloved co-workers. It wasn't an easy transition. And the other pitfalls of 2011 (not work-related) could've all driven me to that place of anger with God. But I think the reason my faith was strengthened, not weakened, throughout everything, was because I had committed it to him. I resolved before the bad things even started to trust God, even if I couldn't see the end.

That's how I want to continue to live. That's how I want to face anything 2012 throws my way. Anything the next however many years on this earth throw my way.