Best of Blogs #28

Reinvented Me, originally posted 9/24/10.

In Kindergarten and then again in 2nd-6th grade, I had the world's worst gym teacher: Mr. Carron. (His first lesson each year was that his name was spelled that way.) He was one of those people that's so mean and hate-filled you wonder what ever inspired him to become a teacher. I mean really, wasn't there a position open in the Nazi regime?

Well, God didn't make me with much coordination, it seemed. And Mr. Carron routinely did things to point out how terrible I was at sports. Rather than encourage me to try my best or teach me how to do it better, he mocked my basketball skills and singled me out when I was the only girl who couldn't do a split.

And so I never did any extra curricular sports, never tried much in gym class even after I moved on to 7th grade, because I believed one thing to be surely true about myself: I would never be a gifted athlete.

When church events, camps, or field trips required athletic events, I would do my best to get exempt from such things. And if I had to participate, I'd apologetically let everyone know beforehand that I wasn't very good at whatever the activity was. Just to avoid the embarrassment of them finding that out for themselves.

Well, today our department at work went on a team retreat, which involved 2 hours of volleyball and some team building games. And last night I realized something: no one here in Colorado knew that I'm not athletically gifted. No one had seen Mr. Carron's teasing. And what if my un-athletic ability was really just in my mind? What if it was a lie I'd believed for so long that it had become a self-fulfilling prophecy? What if I could re-invent myself as a good athlete?

So I decided to go into today and give it my all. No pre-game apologies for my lack of skill. No timidness because what if I embarrassed myself? Just do my best, be the ball, and have fun. And guess what? I wasn't one of the all-star volleyball players on the team, but I played way better than I ever have before. I had a lot of good hits, one in particular that seemed and impossible hit, and everyone was excited when I made it.

And get this - one of my co-workers asked me if I played sports in high school! And her inflection wasn't so much a question tone, but more of a "oh, you must have played sports" kind of inflection. Which was pretty exciting for me. No one has ever assumed that about me, except running because of my build.

I had a lot more fun than I've ever had playing sports. Sure, I had a few way off hits, and one where the volleyball went right through my arms, but I wasn't focused on the embarrassment. I was focused on re-inventing me. Ali: the reasonably decent athlete. And it worked!

So take that, Mr. Carron!