Why I Write

I just got back from a Christian Writer's Conference at which I was representing Group and seeking out new authors. But as a writer, I was also inspired and fed during this conference. During my time there, I got new goals and dreams and practical steps to get there.

But there's one thing that stood out to me above all else. Last night, a panel of writers answered questions. On that panel was Jerry B. Jenkins, author of the Left Behind series and the man responsible for the conference. And when the question was asked, "If you could talk to your 20-year old self, what message would you have?" Jerry responded, "I would tell me that I was going to be very lucky." He went on to have a more profound answer, I guess, but that was the line that stuck out to me and got me thinking.

I'm not too far past 20 myself, just 26 and starting out in what I hope to be a successful writing career. And I got to thinking…if 66 year-old Ali could come and tell me now what my writing career would look like over the next 40 years…would I want that? There's no way it could benefit me. If 66 year-old me told me I was going to be very successful, I'd probably put in less effort and wait for opportunities to be handed to me on a silver platter. Why put in the effort when future me has just told me I'm going to be successful? On the other hand, if future me told me at 66 I'd still never had a book published, I'd be tempted to give up. Why write if it was never going to be published?

And THAT got me thinking about publishing. Obviously that's the dream. That's the goal. But what if it doesn't happen? Am I OK with writing just because I enjoy it? Just because it's what God has gifted me to do? Or do I do it with the hope of making a name for myself?

Ultimately, you don't have to be published to touch lives with your writing. I started thinking about a speaker I'd heard at Children's Pastor's Conference last month, who talked about the Butterfly Effect, and how one person touching one life could mean that person touching another life, whose life might go on to touch hundreds of thousands of lives.

What if I'm never published, but someday someone stumbles across a manuscript and reads it, and it touches them. Just them, no one else reads it. But somehow, that writing inspires them to touch 5 people's lives in a special way. And those 5 people each touch 100 more. And so on and so forth. No one would ever know my name, no one would ever give me credit for touching all those lives. I might not even know. But if I'm REALLY about accomplished God's will, maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe he just has ONE life he wants my writing to touch, and that's enough to do what he's willed for me. I need to be OK with that.

If the only place my name is every printed is on my tombstone, that doesn't mean I've failed as a writer.